A different approach (dealing with India)

Published in Dawn on October 12, 2025

WITH the Bihar elections in India due soon, Prime Minister Narendra Modi and his henchmen are likely to do their best to blame Pakistan for all their failures. They want their people to believe that Pakistan is responsible for all their problems, including the fact that 40 per cent Indians are living below the poverty line, and many children have died after consuming contaminated cough syrups.

I suggest that instead of responding to any threats hurled by Indians, we should stay calm and not respond in kind. The best thing to do, of course, is to pretend that India does not exist, but since that is not possible, we should find an alternative way.

We could, for instance, point out that India could solve most of its problems by reducing its defence budget by half, and spend the money saved to feed its hungry masses. We could suggest that India would be better off buying fighter jets and missiles manufactured in Pakistan instead of France. Of course, the Indian government would not respond, but at least our offer would go some way towards convincing ordinary Indians not to fall for Pakistan-bashing.

Shakir Lakhani

Karachi

https://www.dawn.com/news/1948353/a-different-approach

Saudi-Pakistan defense pact: Modi and Hindutva Indians are stunned

On the face of it, the recently-signed defense pact between Saudi Arabia and Pakistan is nothing new. Pakistan has always had close ties with the Saudis, and in case of an attack by Israel on the kingdom, Pakistan would have immediately provided support, even without the pact. Indians were delighted with the massive Saudi investment in the country, but the situation changed radically after the 4-day war in which India was soundly thrashed, leading even Trump to lean towards Pakistan.

But the turning point came with Israel's bombing of Qatar to kill Hamas leaders. Arab states realized that the US is no longer a reliable ally and if Israel attacks another Gulf state, US support is no longer guaranteed. So they have to turn to the other superpower (China) for support, and for that they need Pakistan.

Rabid Hindutva Indians of course are stunned. They want India to be considered the region's policeman to protect US interests, and now find that they have no role to play. With US sanctions on India preventing it from developing Chabahar port in Iran (which was being used by India to supply weapons to Baloch terrorists), India has been dealt a massive blow. Hindutva supporters in the Indian media are wondering how Pakistan was able to go nuclear, and are even hoping that Israel will destroy Pakistan's nuclear assets.  

As expected, Trump makes a U-turn on India

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Like all narcissists, US president Donald Trump frequently backs out when he finds out he was wrong. He slapped a fifty percent tariff on almost all goods India exports to the US, not knowing that India had the option of rushing into the arms of China (with whom it has had a very bitter relationship due to its alliance with Pakistan). In fact, all BRIC countries regarded India as a Trojan horse due to its special relationship with the US. So, when Trump saw that his policy had backfired, he started calling the repulsive Modi his friend, and now it seems that India will soon start sleeping with the US.

This doesn't mean that India will get everything it wants from the US, like for instance the stoppage of military assistance to Pakistan. India's recent misadventure against Pakistan proved that it is not the superpower it pretends to be. The only thing favoring India is that it's a huge market, which is why US companies have already invested heavily in India. But unless India agrees to Trump's demands, like access to its agriculture, Trump will never agree to restore the special relationship it had before with the US.

Indians promoting fake news about Trump calling Modi four times!

As the deadline approached for Trump to impose 50 percent duty on Indian goods, Indians desperately tried to tell the world that they are not beggars, and Trump had called Modi four times. Why would the most powerful person in the world try to persuade the leader of a desperately poor country like India to agree to his demands? If it had been China, he'd have called ten times, but India? Indians most probably think that the rest of the world are very stupid and would believe any good fake news about their prime minister. The world knows that seventy percent of Indians are hungry and desperately trying to survive on a dollar a day. In fact, Modi should stop spending so much (90 billion dollars a year) on defense, he can buy fighter jets and other equipment from Pakistan and easily save 70 billion dollars every year to feed hungry Indians (besides providing them with toilets).

Of course, Trump didn't back out, he imposed the highest duty on India, and Indian exporters are spending sleepless nights.

But I know that the well-being of Indians is far from Modi's mind. He just wants his friends Ambani and Adani to earn billions in kickbacks so he will continue to buy Rafales from France and MIGS from Russia.

Controversy over Modi's degree

A couple of days back, the Times of India suddenly started accepting my comments, although I still can't reply to any commentator who contacts me on its app. One guy recently asked me whether I'm the same man who used to write on Chowrangi.com, but my reply to him bounced back. 

One of the topics bothering many Indians is whether Modi really has a university degree. It's obvious that the man is practically illiterate, if he really has been able to graduate, then there is something seriously wrong with the education system in India. The fact that he got the high court to prevent disclosure of the list of graduates on 1977-78 proves that he lied when he claimed to have a degree. Another thing, pointed out by many Indians, is that if he really had a degree, he should have no hesitation in showing it to the public.

It's really amusing that some Indians can't see that the man is a fraudster. How can someone who arranged the massacre of over 2000 Muslims be educated? Plus, why did he choose to become a simple tea vendor  (chai walla) at a railway station if he is educated?

Indian Air Force Chief's desperate attempt to save Modi!

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I've always believed that most Indians and Pakistanis are so similar that they might be first cousins. The people of our Punjab are remarkably like those who live in Indian Punjab. They are both good technicians, they are good fighters, they look alike, they speak the same language and they have the same customs. They even have the same primitive beliefs about women (but that is true of most Pakistanis as well).

So I wasn't very surprised when the Indian Air Force chief (Air Chief Marshal Amar Preet Singh) suddenly declared that his air force had shot down six Pakistani planes in the four day war in May this year. In fact, I wonder why he didn't make this fantastic statement earlier, why did he do it three months after the conflict? Better late than never, I suppose.

The timing is very significant. It came after Trump repeatedly said that five or six jets had been shot down, as Pakistan has proved. So even Indian analysts are amazed. One of them even says that it's a lie, and it will have a demoralizing effect on Indian air force officers, who know the truth. Obviously, it's a desperate attempt to save Modi from humiliation. But I doubt if it will succeed.

Mystery of the missing Indian female pilot

During last month's Indian attack on Pakistan, Indian army and airforce claimed that all the pilots returned safely. But they have yet to explain why their female Rafale pilot (Shivangi Singh) has not been seen since after the war ended. Earlier, a video clip had gone viral showing a woman surrendering after parachuting down to a place which was obviously in northern Pakistan. Later, the Governor of Pakistan's KP province had claimed that she was in Pakistan's custody (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MSQIm72qHBQ). Later, the Al-Jazeera TV channel also reported the same thing.

But when asked if she was in Pakistan's custody, the Pakistan army spokesman denied it, claiming that someone had spread this news on social media. 

On Facebook, worried Indians are asking Modi to clarify whether she's dead or in Pakistan, but they are not getting any response from Modi (the butcher of Gujarat).

I suppose if the Indian leader admits that she's dead or in Pakistan, it will prove that he and his army has been lying about the war. No sane Indian would then believe him when he says that the four day war achieved its objective. 

Proud to be Pakistani: India humbled by our army and air force

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The last time I felt happy after a war with India was in 1965, when our armed forces beat the Indians back. After the debacle in 1971, there was always this feeling that we can never defend ourselves against India. But in the present conflict, which began only four days back, India has been shocked to find that it cannot defeat Pakistan. Modi will have a hard time explaining why his army and air force failed so miserably, despite having told Indians that Pakistan is a failed state and does not have the ability to fight back. 

Just four days after India attacked Pakistan, it is asking for a cease-fire. Their analysts (who have claimed that Pakistani cities of Karachi and Lahore have been reduced to rubble) are in a state of shock. One of them, a retired military officer, must be passing sleepless nights after claiming that Baloch rebels had captured Quetta and Pakistan is on the verge of destruction. A sane Indian Analyst (Pravin Sawhney) has been banned after he confirmed that at least four Indian jets were shot down by Pakistan. An Indian TV channel (AAJ Tak) has apologized for airing fake news. But I'm sure Modi's goons will go out and claim that India has won this war. They won't be able to fool the opposition in India, where a lot of awkward questions will be asked about the failure of Rafael jets procured at enormous cost. They will also wonder why India with a defence budget nine times larger than Pakistan's (81 billion dollars compared to 9 billion), was not able to win.

Indian elections may have been rigged in favor of Modi

I've always wondered why it takes so long for elections to be conducted in India. In Pakistan and other countries like the US, results are known within twenty four hours. Due to India's size, it shouldn't take more than three days to hold elections. But fifty days? You can't help thinking that the recent elections were rigged in favor of Mod's party, which should have lost by a much bigger margin.

Now that Modi's party doesn't have an absolute majority, it will have to share power with other parties, who will demand a greater share and that of course will irk Modi (who is a dictator at heart). I expect that his party will not be able to govern as effectively as it did for the past ten years. Maybe Modi will be replaced by someone else, or fresh elections will have to be held within two years.

At least Muslims and other minorities will benefit. Modi was determined to demonize Muslims and Christians, who will now be much better off. Let's hope India reverts to being the secular republic it was under previous governments.

 

Modi’s latest salvo

Published in Daily Times on October 17, 2019

Narendra Modi has long displayed his hatred for Pakistan and Muslims and has done his best to damage Pakistan in every way he can.

His latest attempt is a crude one, which normally no one would have noticed. A few days ago, he spent some time at a beach in Mamallapuram; picking up trash. He wanted the international media to compare the beaches in India with those of Pakistan and, thus, expose the sad state of our highly polluted seashore in Karachi. He wanted world leaders to think, “Since Pakistan is not able to keep its beaches clean, it should stop talking about human rights violations in Kashmir.”

So, I wondered what our very able and learned ministers would have said if they had heard about Modi’s latest salvo and how he wanted to draw attention to our polluted beaches.

I can imagine what the reactions of our ministers would be!

Special Advisor to PM, Firdous Ashiq Awan: “Our beaches are the envy of the developed world; Modi will never succeed in his latest attempt to portray Pakistan in a bad light. If he thinks our attention will be diverted from the genocide in Kashmir, or that Imran Khan will give NRO to those who looted the country, he is sadly mistaken.”

Railways Minister, Shaikh Rasheed: “I go to Karachi regularly and have always observed that the beaches there are absolutely clean and the water in the Arabian Sea is very pure, and because it contains salt it can be used for cooking. Very soon, we shall have Chinese and Saudi style of governance in the country which will enable us to arrest anyone who even spits in the sand and put him or her in jail for life or even hang them.”

Punjab Chief Minister, Usman Buzdar: “All the beaches in my province are absolutely free of pollution.”

When a reporter pointed out that there were no beaches in Punjab (as the sea is about a thousand kilometres away), he exclaimed, “So that’s why we don’t have ships sailing right up to Lahore? Now I know.”

Communications Minister, Murad Saeed: “I denounce Modi in the strongest possible terms. I challenge him to produce one Indian who was able to clear three papers in an examination in half an hour. As for beaches being polluted, since most postmen in the country have nothing to do, I have asked our Dear Leader for permission to use all postmen in the country to pick up the trash in Sea View in one day, even though it should have been done by the previous highly corrupt government which looted two hundred billion dollars that were to be used for cleaning up our beaches.”

Science Minister, Fawad Choudhry: “Modi’s latest nefarious attempt is designed to thwart Imran Khan’s mediation effort to promote peace between Iran and Saudi Arabia. He knows that once the war in Yemen is over, Pakistan will make phenomenal progress, as it will automatically result in ridding the country of dengue mosquitoes, providing ten million jobs and building five million houses for the people, as well as the discovery of huge oil reserves in the country.”

Punjab Minister, Fayyaz Chohan: “Modi knows he can’t compete with us in any field. Does he have any ministers who can influence examiners to give their sons sixteen extra marks in an exam? He should improve the education system in his country before talking about beaches in Pakistan.”

Climate Minister, Zartaj Gul: “Modi has been jealous ever since the PTI government took over the country. In the thirteen months that we have been in charge, street crimes have been virtually eliminated, the climate has improved considerably and even Karachi has received rains in October. This is due to all our ministers being hundred per cent honest and upright. None of our ministers has ever used their powers to get jobs for any of their relatives. Modi should ensure that his ministers are as good as ours before pointing out that our beaches are highly polluted.”

Minister for Water, Faisal Vawda: “The only way to make Modi shut up about our beaches is to hang five thousand corrupt people in Pakistan.”

https://dailytimes.com.pk/484524/modis-latest-salvo/

 

Is Discrimination natural

Published in Daily Times on October 1, 2019

Discrimination appears to be inherent in the DNA of humans. Why are many men and women instinctively repulsed by those who are different? The American poet John Pizzarelli wrote: “You’ve got to be taught to be afraid/Of people whose eyes are oddly made/And people whose skin is a different shade.”

I was reminded of these lines when residents of a building in Karachi recently posted a notice in English: “Non-Muslims not allowed to purchase or rent apartments here.” It caused a furore, and when media persons visited the building to find out the reason for such a discriminatory notice, they found that it had been removed, and the building association’s office-bearers were not willing to talk about it.

But what is not widely known is that this kind of thing has been going on unofficially for a long time now, especially in localities where land has been allotted to co-operative societies. There are some buildings where flats are available to only the followers of the Aga Khan, known as Aga Khanis. There are co-operative societies where only members of a particular sub-sect or ethnic community can buy bungalows.

In Clifton’s Frere Town, for instance, there is a building where only Harijans (Dalits) can live, as the land was allotted to their co-operative society.

Though this may be discriminatory and even illegal, a lawyer friend told me it has never been challenged in courts.

This reminded me of the time when the Indian actress Shabana Azmi could not buy a house in Mumbai as Muslims are apparently not permitted to live in some (or most) localities in that city. Apart from religious discrimination, some places in India are off-limits to non-vegetarians. But then it’s only natural for Indians to discriminate against others due to their caste system. I once met a brilliant Indian who couldn’t get a job in a multinational just because he was a Muslim. He finally managed to go abroad to be able to earn a decent income.

This, of course, is the reason why Narendra Modi and his Nazi associates want to make India a racially pure Hindu Rashtra (state), where Muslims, Sikhs, Christians, Dalits and other non-Hindus would be second-class citizens.

In Karachi, apart from the few examples quoted above, most buildings and localities have people of all religions and ethnicities. I live in an apartment complex, of seven hundred flats, with a surprisingly large number of Hindus as well as foreigners. Apart from the Chinese, we also have some Koreans and Europeans. They generally keep to themselves.

Despite being highly educated, Muslims in my neighbourhood have told their children and wives not to become too friendly with non-Muslims. I remember a time when it wasn’t so bad, when I was in school, with children from all religions, including Jews, eating and playing together without being scared of each other.

A recent alarming development is the hatred felt by those of the majority to people who belong to other sects or sub-sects. It is now common for such people to first find out which sect or sub-sect a job applicant belongs to. I didn’t know how deeply rooted this feeling was until I met a man who wanted to rent out his bungalow. He insisted that the tenant should be someone who belonged to the majority sect, preferably to the sub-sect of which he was a member. This is a relatively new phenomenon, and is apparently due to the poisonous filth being spewed out by some ignorant mullahs. This is not what Mr Jinnah wanted. In fact, as he was not among those who belonged to the majority sect, extremists no longer consider him to have been a Muslim.

The government should seriously look into this matter before our people become even more radicalised than they already are. Otherwise, it won’t be long before the residents of some buildings decide to allow only those they consider ‘real’ Muslims to purchase or rent apartments in their premises.

Shakir Lakhani 

The writer is an engineer, a former visiting lecturer at NED Engineering College

https://dailytimes.com.pk/476007/is-discrimination-natural/

Sadhvi Pragya and Black Magic

Published in Daily Times on September 5, 2019

Indians and Pakistanis may differ from each other in most aspects, but many of them fervently believe in black magic. Sometimes, they may be so different from each other that foreigners would be forgiven for thinking they are from different planets. They may hate the sight of each other, but both believe that their fortunes can be changed by black magic.

In both countries, many people attribute their failures to someone having done black magic on them. If a man is sacked and becomes jobless, he instantly assumes that his rivals have used black magic. If a couple divorces only six months after marriage, they are convinced someone has done black magic on them, even though it should have been obvious even to a dunce that the marriage would never have worked; she may have been very beautiful and intelligent, while he may have been a suspicious, jealous drunkard.

Then there is the belief that sickness is also caused by black magic. Among the poor, kidney infections and stones are very common. The illiterate ones go to shrines and bathe in the ponds nearby to get cured. I know some men who say they got rid of kidney stones after immersing themselves in lakes adjacent to shrines. These places are well known to ward off the evil effects of black magic.

Then there are those whose wives fail to conceive or give birth only to daughters. They go to holy men-there are thousands-who guarantee that such women can be made fertile or give birth to sons if only those who are affected by black magic agree to pay handsome amounts to the pious ones.

You can see banners and wall-chalkings proclaiming the greatness of the holy ones. Now they even have websites. Recently, such a one in Gujranwala was able to convince a Malaysian woman to pay him two million rupees for getting rid of whatever she suffered from. But this time he wasn’t so lucky, as he first thought. The woman travelled all the way to Gujranwala, obviously after the black magic didn’t work. And after he asked for more money, she had him arrested. It should be interesting to see what the authorities do in this case.

Most people who believe in black magic are also highly superstitious. The Great Khan, before he came to power, was known to retreat to the mountains up north for days. One assumes that he was advised to do so to ward off the evil effects of black magic. We once had a political leader who used to head in the opposite direction, to the sea, whenever he felt the need to protect himself from those who wanted to cast a spell on him.

As I said, in both the neighbouring countries, belief in black magic is widespread. So I wasn’t surprised when that fanatic Indian Hindutva woman and prominent politician, Sadhvi Pragya, claimed that three BJP stalwarts had suddenly passed away due to the effects of black magic perpetrated by the party’s opponents. I should have thought that if any black magic was responsible for the three deaths, one would have suspected Kashmiris, seeing how they have been treated by Modi in recent days.

Sadhvi still thinks there is a lot of black magic around, and has warned Narendra Modi to be careful. She should come to Pakistan, where thousands of specialists abound, all of them claiming to save people from the evil effects of black magic. In fact, here she will find many who will cast a spell on her political opponents. I am sure it will be a pleasant experience.#

Shakir Lakhani

 https://dailytimes.com.pk/459809/sadhvi-pragya-and-black-magic/

Modi’s nightmare: a Muslim-majority India

Published in Daily Times on August 22, 2019

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About two years ago, I did some research on Indian population growth, including Indian minorities. I concluded that there are at least 90 million missing Indian Muslims, according to the 2011 census. Either they have not been registered or the census enumerators have registered them as Hindus. My conclusion was that successive Indian governments were scared that the evil Nazi Hindutva activists would pour out into the streets, killing every Muslim in sight, after being told that Muslims are now already about twenty-five to thirty percent of India’s population.

With Modi behaving like an Indian Hitler, I’m convinced that he is having nightmares of waking up one fine morning and discovering that India has turned into a Muslim majority country. This is the only explanation I have for his recent actions of enslaving the people of the Indian-occupied Kashmir. His virulent hatred for Muslims should be obvious to neutral observers. Note that he has never expressed regret whenever his Hindutva friends have raped Muslim women or lynched Muslim men on trumped up beef-eating charges.

The recent case of the killers of Pehlu Khan being acquitted despite considerable video evidence identifying his Hindutva killers proves that the Indian judiciary is no longer independent as far as minorities are concerned. If it had been the other way around, if six Muslims had killed a Hindu, the judges would have sentenced all six to death immediately.

Back to the missing Indian Muslims: how can anyone be sure that Indian census data are reliable? Despite India’s superiority in information technology, why does it take them almost forty-five days to conduct elections? In most countries, including the US, election results are known within twenty-four hours. Taking that as a bench mark, conducting India’s elections and counting of votes should not take more than four or five days. The only conclusion is that India’s demographic data is not documented properly. Pakistan, on the other hand, is much better in this respect. Yes, the Indian census data over all these years has been fudged to show that Muslims are an insignificant minority in the country.

Modi himself is proving that his agenda is to either convert all Indian Muslims to Hinduism, or kill or deport them if they refuse. In Assam, a state with thirty-four percent of its people being Muslim, a movement is underway to deport up to four million of them to the neighbouring Bangladesh and Myanmar. Amit Shah, Modi’s right hand man, has repeatedly called Assam’s Muslims “termites”. Muslims are being asked to prove that they were born in India and they did not migrate from Bangladesh. Even though most of them voted in previous elections, and some of them have even served in the Indian army, yet they face the risk of deportation if they don’t have the required documents.

Mind you, Hindus in Assam are not being questioned or asked to prove whether they are Indian. In fact, the Modi government’s stated policy is to welcome with open arms all Hindus from Pakistan and Bangladesh who wish to settle in India. This policy of asking Muslims to prove they are genuine Indians and not illegal migrants will soon be extended to other Indian states like Kerala with high Muslim populations. Poor Indian Muslims will have sleepless nights for many years fearing the midnight knocks on their doors and being expelled from the country.

If more proof is needed, Modi’s speech recently on the need to curb India’s population growth should be sufficient. When he said that Indians should have small families, he didn’t mean Indian Hindus. Since the Hindu population of India has already reached the replacement growth rate of 2.1 percent, he really meant that Muslims should limit the number of their children. Obviously, the high growth rate among Muslims is giving Modi sleepless nights, as this is the first time he has mentioned the issue of unchecked population growth in India.

In ancient days, whenever a nation was conquered, the first thing the victorious army did was to try and kill the men and rape the women of the defeated territory. Which is why the Haryana Chief Minister Manohar Lal Khattar crowed after the abolition of Article 370: “Now we can get girls from Kashmir.” He was of course saying what primitive soldiers used to wish for before starting a war. Modi and his henchmen know that this is how they can exterminate the Muslims of India: kill the men and take away their women. And the only way to prevent them from doing so is for Indian Muslims and other minorities to get united, and vote the BJP out in all future elections.

The writer is an engineer, a former visiting lecturer at NED Engineering College, an industrialist, and has been associated with the petroleum, chemical industries for many years.

Shakir Lakhani

https://dailytimes.com.pk/452112/modis-nightmare-a-muslim-majority-india/

Thank you, Modi

Published in Daily Times on August 15, 2019   

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Thank you, Narendra Modi, for proving that you are the Muslim-hater we always knew you were. Thank you for proving that Mr Jinnah and his associates correctly surmised that in a united India, Muslims would be second-class citizens with no rights. Thank you for proving that you and your Hindutva followers can never be trusted, that you ignored Nehru’s promise to the UN to conduct a plebiscite to determine the state’s future, despite Nehru saying, “If they [Kashmiris] tell us to walk out, I would have no hesitation in quitting Kashmir”, you did the very opposite, just to appease those who voted for your party and its twisted policies.

We know how rabid Hindutva works, Modi. My father and his friends would pretend to be Hindus when going by bus from one city to another in your home state of Gujarat. Even many years before the partition, they were terrified they would be massacred if spotted and caught by those who subscribed to the violent philosophy propagated by those who founded the RSS. I’m grateful to your predecessors for the mass killings in 1947, which convinced my father and other members of my family to flee to Pakistan.

We knew, of course, after you presided over the massacre of thousands of Muslims in 2002 that you hate Muslims more than Hitler hated the Jews. We know that as your followers wrenched open the wombs of pregnant Muslim women and you watched in glee, you were openly expressing your hatred for the thousand-year Muslim rule over India. You further provided more proof by not fielding a single Muslim to contest the UP elections, a state of 200 million where three out of ten people are Muslims. We also know that you were able to secure a majority in the Lok Sabha due to your open hatred for Muslims, and your promise to suppress the freedom movement in the Indian-occupied Jammu and Kashmir. How can Indian Muslims ever forget the popular slogan ‘Vote for BJP if you want to destroy Muslims’ in the recent general elections, which you won by a vast majority?

You have now proved that you are worse than we thought, by making Kashmir a colony, a land where the people are proud of their history of opposing foreign aggression for four thousand years. Thank you for convincing Indian Muslims that they will never be able to live like free citizens in India. Thank you for exposing the true face of Hindutva. The whole world will now see non-Hindus being expelled from India if they don’t convert to Hinduism, after you get India declared a Hindu Rashtra.

Thank you for displaying flagrant contempt for the constitution of your country, which declares that Article 370 is an indispensable part of it. We know that your cowering judges in the Supreme Court will take a long time to decide the issue, by which time the genocide of Muslims will already have taken place.

Thank you again, Modi, for drawing the attention of the whole world to the hapless people of Kashmir. If you think you can silence them by imposing curfew and not allowing them to communicate with the outside world, you’re living in a fool’s paradise. They have the grit and the determination to fight for many years to protect their identity, their culture and their land.

You have only served to alienate the Muslims and liberals of your country, and despite your best efforts, you have only internationalised the issue. We hope you live long enough to realise that you have made a terrible mistake.

The writer is an engineer, a former visiting lecturer at NED Engineering College, an industrialist, and has been associated with the petroleum, chemical industries for many years.

https://dailytimes.com.pk/448080/thank-you-modi/