Will creating new provinces help?

Pakistan has always had four provinces, even though its population has increased exponentially. But the very idea of increasing the number of provinces makes Sindhi speakers abusive. There is a good reason for this. Sindh is the only province that is dependent for all its revenue solely on one city (Karachi), which provides almost hundred percent of its budget. Naturally, if most of that money is spent in Karachi (if the province is divided), people living in Sindh's other cities will have to pay all kinds of taxes (a big chunk of which will of course go into foreign bank accounts so the rulers can spend the money when they go for their annual vacations).

The arguments against having more provinces of course carry some weight. For one thing, the new provinces will require funds for paying legislators and their staff, which will require common citizens to pay more taxes, as feudal lords will exempt themselves from taxation. So, whether new provinces are created or not, the ordinary man will continue to suffer. 

There is a way to solve the problem, and that is to give adequate funding to local government bodies, as envisaged in the Constitution. But again, for Sindh's rulers, this means less money for themselves and their supporters, so there's a slim chance of that happening.

Massive protests in India

 Until recently it was widely believed that the people of India were satisfied with the performance of their government, although there was plenty of evidence pointing to the massive poverty in the country. The recent country-wide protests in the country have exposed the real face of India.

The most surprising thing that we learnt from the protests was that the people no longer believe that Pakistan is responsible for the problems the country is facing. The BJP has won all elections claiming that it was the only party capable of saving Hindus from rapacious Muslims. The young people we saw in the protests ridiculed Modi for demonizing the minorities. They even refuse to believe that India defeated Pakistan in last year's attacks. This is a refreshing change and if the Cockroach Party is able to gain power in India, or even if it is able to become part of a coalition government, there may finally be peace between India and Pakistan. After twelve years in power, Modi can finally be removed, provided of course that all opposition parties unite.

Does Saudi Arabia need nuclear energy?

The US has agreed to give civilian nuclear technology to Saudi Arabia, a country that has so much oil that it doesn't need it. So why does the country need nuclear reactors to produce electricity? One can't help thinking that it's because both Iran and Israel have it, the latter even making nuclear bombs. So it's obvious that the US has double standards, given that it strongly opposes Iran having nuclear energy.

This is how both Pakistan and India became nuclear powers, both starting with small reactors before enriching uranium to produce nuclear weapons. The world has become more unsafe with the present nine nuclear weapons states, it's going to get worse with the US encouraging other countries to go nuclear. But then, the US desperately needs the money to save itself from bankruptcy, which it will get from the Saudis for providing it with civilian nuclear technology.

So you want a Kassai?

 Published in DAWN Magazine on April 25, 1999

What follows didn't happen, but it may well become the norm in a couple of years.    

Two weeks before Eid, a sweet voice on the phone tells you, "We have the best butchers in town. Register now, or your animals will have to wait another year before they go to their Maker."

You point out that the animals haven't yet arrived from the interior.

"Our men will help you select the best animals."

You tell her to call after ten days. 

"Don't hang up, sir. Our butchers are all graduates. We even have a few MBAs on our payroll."

This was interesting. "What'll I have to pay an MBA to slaughter a goat or cow?" you ask.

"Much lass than what our chartered accountant will take."

You didn't know the situation was that bad, so you say, "All right, send one over on Eid day. What'll I have to pay him?"

"Just a second sir, let me calculate. It'll be  ten thousand for a cow, five thousand for a goat, and fifteen for a camel."

You let out a yell that is heard in Quetta. 

"Maybe you'd like an MBA to do the job? You'll save 50 per cent, and 60 per cent if one of our engineers does it."

"For God's sake, can't you get me a real, genuine, red-blooded butcher who does nothing but carve up goats and cows every day?"

"This Eid is the only time when the real ones do any butchering, that's why you see all these jobless graduates doing their work."

By Shakir Lakhani

Wily Benazir

Published in the Friday Times on August 3-9, 2007

Sir, 

Benazir Bhutoo is up to her old tricks again. In a blatant effort to blackmail the General, she wants the government to act promptly and close a deal with her so that he can continue as president for another term. If there's one thing we know, it's that the two former prime ministers (Benazir Bhutto and Nawaz Sharif) will never be able to tackle the militants. They know how to do only one thing; enrich themselves and bleed the nation. The General should not fall into their trap. He should use all available options, including postponing the elections for a year.

Shakir Lakhani

Karachi

Remembering 5 July 1977

Practically everyone I knew hated Bhutto intensely. Perhaps it was because he was so arrogant. Or maybe because he had been responsible for the break-up of the country. Whatever the reason, we were greatly relieved when Zia overthrew him.

In the beginning, Zia had no intention of executing Bhutto. In fact, he treated the latter with great respect, but when Bhutto threatened Zia with dire consequences (like trying him under Art 6 for violating the Constitution), Zia began to look for ways to keep him out of power. He found one in the murder case against Bhutto filed by Ahmed Raza Kasuri. It was Bhutto's bad luck that he was convicted by four of the seven judges. Of course, in any western country, he would not have been sentenced to death, as that would have required the approval of all the seven judges.

The public also hated Bhutto for massively rigging the national elections. No one could believe that Bhutto could win with such a big majority with most people against him. But it became evident that he was not as popular as he had been led to believe by his minions. There were no protests when he was arrested, and no one came out on the streets when he was executed.

 

Will Israel kill Iran's Supreme Leader on July 3?

There's one thing about Zionists which can be said with absolute certainty and that is they love to kill other humans, even if there is no reason to do so. They've deliberately killed even ten day old babies, just for the fun of it. So there is every possibility that they will try to kill the new Supreme Leader of Iran on July 3 during the burial of his father and other victims. And if they succeed, all hell will break loose, and there is no telling what will happen.

The region will become a living hell, as Iran will not only attack Israel, but also its allies like the UAE, Bahrain and Kuwait. And it will do so with its entire arsenal. There will be another spike in oil prices, and inflation rate will go through the roof. Trump of course has no influence on the Zionists, who think they're the chosen people and are destined to rule over the world.

I hope better sense prevails and the Zionists are persuaded to drop all plans to kill anyone at the funeral.

 

Moon sighting controversy in Pakistan is nothing new

Published in Morning News on January 22, 1967

It was not surprising that your esteem newspaper reported the sighting of the moon in Karachi by five persons one of them being a retired army doctor. This writer knows at least three persons in my neighbourhood who claimed they did see it at the time. And the fact that it is supposed to have been on the horizon for nine minutes only (was calculated beforehand by astronomers) explains why only a few could perceive it that Wednesday evening. In any event, the extraordinary amount of time in which the moon was visible on Thursday evening should settle all doubts. It set after ninety-one minutes, whereas a first moon could occupy, at the most, eighty-three.

And what now? Surely there must be some way out of this dilemma. Perhaps the Egyptian calendar could be adopted. It is already in use in the UAR...Turkey and the countries of North Africa. Or perhaps some of the Ulema could be persuaded to learn the science of astronomy and be convinced that it is possible to predict accurately the appearance of the moon at any place. 

Indeed, it is the inflexible attitude of some of our Ulema which is responsible for the confusion. At the Friday prayers in a local mosque, one Mullah made the astonishing remark that the Red moon should be sighted by the naked eye alone, and such "scientific and technological" instruments as the telescope and binoculars should not be made use of. Using the same line of argument, one may easily claim that guns, planes and bombs should not be used in war, as these also are products of science and technology.

It is precisely this sort of intransigence which is bound to make the Ulema unpopular, at least with the intelligentsia, if not with the masses.

This is enough. We have already made ourselves ridiculous in the eyes of the world and other non-Muslim communities. Let us hope that this fact, if no other, influences our religious leaders and convince them of the need to reach an agreement with the Ruet-e-Eilal committee in future.

Shakir Lakhani

Karachi

Propagation of Urdu

 Published in Morning News on February 6, 1965

Mr. Mubarak Ali Siddiqi, an urdu author, who recently migrated to Pakistan, as per news report dated 20-1-1965, has pointed out that Urdu is being banished from India and it has a dark future over there. I think Mr. Siddiqui should have compared the conditions of Urdu prevailing in India with that in Pakistan before making his statement. I would invite the attention of your readers towards the proceedings of Anjaman-I-Taraqqi-Urdu (Hind) recently held at Jaipur under the Presidentship of a retired Hindu Judge Pandit Anand Narain Mulla Saahib who vehemently took up the case of Urdu with the Indian Government. At the same meeting Mr. Sukhadia, the Chief Minister of Rajasthan, declared in clear words that all important laws of his Government will be published in Urdu also and the replies to representations and other communications received in Urdu will be replied to in the same language.

May I give a brief history of the events held in the recent past in Pakistan. Mr. Akhtar Husain, a former Information Minister of Pakistan, speaking on the death anniversary of baba-i-Urdu, declared that the late Molvi Sahib had chosen the advancement of Urdu as his contribution to the struggle for Muslim renaissance, and that, according to Molvi Sahib, Urdu was a foundation on which the CULTURAL EDIFICE of the nation could be built. Our President has also pointed out that Urdu has fully safeguarded so far as our Constitution was concerned, I would also refer to the expression made by Altaf Gauhar, the present Information Secretary, who, while speaking on the occasion of the twentieth anniversary of  "Afkhar", was of the firm view that "Urdu was responsible for the establishment of Pakistan and, that all efforts should be made to adopt Urdu in every walk of life."

But it is an irony of fate that Radio Pakistan (working under the Information Secretary himself) is still victimising Urdu to the greatest possible extent. Its stations at Hyderabad, Peshawar and Quetta are allotting the lion's share to the respective regional languages and Urdu has been relegated to an insignificant position. Recently, the last two stations have introduced an extra channel, but there too, the overall planning is in the regional language.

I would appeal to the Information Secretary  to very kindly look into this deplorable state of affairs and at least by fulfilling his own commitment referred to above to ensure that Urdu which has been declared as one of the national languages get the rightful place in radio broadcasting. Will those concerned kindly clarify?

Shakir Lakhani

Karachi

Prediction with no meaning

Published in The News on November 12, 2005

This is with reference to Ms. Qudsia Parvez's letter 'Predictions with no meaning' (November 9) which is in response to my earlier letter under the same title. The fact is that most people in Pakistan believe in pre-destination, which is one reason why the country has not made much progress. The belief that everything that happens is pre-ordained causes men to continue smoking and die untimely deaths. Unfortunately, ZAB's massive nationalisation of education, followed by emphasis on religion rather than science in the Zia's days, has kept our masses virtually uninformed. One can only hope that the mass availability of news and scientific progarmmes on satellite channels will improve matters.

Shakir Lakhani

Karachi