I've always known that Muslim religious scholars are out of touch with reality. In the 1980s a prominent Saudi cleric said that it's a heinous thing to say that the sun is stationary and the earth goes around it. Then there was another one who said that the earth is flat. Pakistanis of course are in a class by themselves. I've heard them say that earthquakes are caused by girls wearing jeans. One of them, a man very close to Imran Kan, declared that Covid happened in Pakistan because some of our women don't observe purdah. This guy (Tariq Jamil) amassed a huge fortune and reportedly settled in Canada.

Last week Islamabad was struck by heavy rains and hailstorms. Huge stones broke solar panels and windscreens of cars. Obviously it's due to climate change, but no, our mullahs say it's because our government has not done anything to protect Palestinians who are being subjected to a genocide by Israel. For God's sake, if this is true, why didn't the hail and rain strike Turkey and Dubai, where the governments have diplomatic relations with Israel?  

I've always believed that Muslims will never prosper if they don't acquire scientific knowledge through modern education. And what these "scholars" say proves it.

Every sane Pakistani should be worried about the fact that the Taliban government of Afghanistan has sold some of the advanced US weapons it got after the American withdrawal from Kabul. According to Trump himself, these weapons are valued at eighty five billion dollars. Even if they're sold at a quarter of their value, the bigots ruling Afghanistan will not have to worry about the economy of their country for the next few years or so.

I'm particularly worried about the anti-aircraft missiles the terrorists have. These can be used to attack civilian planes at our airports. The problem is, there is nothing we can do. Our deputy prime minister Ishaq Dar has gone to Kabul, but what can he do? The terrorists will either demand that we adopt the Sharia system (meaning that we lock up our women) or hand over to them two of our provinces. They have the upper hand now, and they will never listen to reason. We're in for a tough time. With the present political deadlock in the country, with one opposition party allied with the terrorists, it's going to be difficult for the country to remain stable. I hope we do not have another Bangladesh.                       

 He's been incarcerated for only twenty months, with all facilities a man needs. In fact, he should be more comfortable in jail than in any of his houses, yet he wants to get out, despite having jailed some of his opponents for years. The man only has to apologize for asking his followers to burn and damage government property, yet he refuses to do so. In fact, he actually believes that he's so popular that the people would storm the jail and get him released.

In November 2024, a major donor to his party visited him in jail and asked him for permission negotiate with the powers that be to release him. He was so arrogant that he told the donor that on November 25 a million of his followers would seize Islamabad and force the government to resign, and he would return to power. Instead of a million, only a couple of thousand turned up, but despite that he  thinks he's still popular. I've asked some of his educated supporters why they like him so much, but the only answer I get is that he's honest (which is not true).

Nobel nuisance

HONESTLY, I personally never wanted to be nominated for the Nobel Peace Prize. I may have occasionally told someone years ago how nice it would be to win the prize and live the rest of my life in luxury, but that was all. Imagine how shocked I was when a friend called one day and said that I had been nominated for the Nobel Peace prize.

But why, I asked. Frankly, I have not done anything to advance the cause of peace. Stranger things have happened, he said. Remember, Barack Obama got it for doing practically nothing, or maybe it is a computer error or something, I was told.

The news about my so-called nomination spread like wildfire. I started receiving calls from people I had not met since childhood. In fact, within a couple of weeks, such people began to believe that I had already received the prize money, and would dole out loans to help them survive.

My phone would ring constantly, and in a few days I became a nervous wreck. I visited the Nobel website to find out who had nominated me, and discovered that I would have to wait 50 years to get that information. Even those who are nominated are not informed.

Since the chances of my winning the prize are one in a trillion, I appeal to friends, acquaintances and strangers to stop bothering me, and let me live in peace.

Shakir Lakhani
Karachi

Published in Dawn, April 13th, 2025

https://www.dawn.com/news/1903938/nobel-nuisance

 

 

I've had many relatives who have wanted to leave Pakistan and settle in a foreign country, the favorite being the US. It was considered to be the safest place where you could be sure of one thing: you could never be deported for your beliefs. Now they must be thinking of going elsewhere, but with Europe being wary of letting more Muslims in, only Australia or New Zealand are possible choices, assuming of course that they too don't revise their policies.

Things have got so bad that many students with valid visas are told that they cannot stay in the country anymore. It won't be long before Muslims with valid US citizenship may also face deportation. I can imagine what will happen: a Muslim will be stopped for speeding or other offense, his cell phone will be closely examined and it will definitely contain a Whattsapp message or video which is critical of Israel or the US, or perhaps supporting Palestine. He would then be told to go back voluntarily or face deportation. I know that this is a bit far-fetched but I'm sure this will happen soon. So US Muslims, particularly those from Pakistan, should be extra careful.

Someone sent me this and I thought it's so good I should post it here:

Question: I voted for Trump to halt all illegal immigration and to halt all the illegals but it's worse now than ever. Why?

Answer: Because you got played. Trump conned you to get your vote. You’ve been snookered.

Did you really think a man who employs undocumented immigrants to work at his properties would kick out the illegals? Seriously?

You can’t “kick out all the illegals” because they do jobs that you and other Americans refuse to do. Like pick crops by hand from sunrise to sundown. And Trump doesn’t want to kick them out—he’s too busy hiring them!

Realizing you’ve been played is the first step toward not letting people con you in the future.

[Edited to add] Already a Trump supporter is in the comments denying that Trump promised to get rid of the illegal aliens. Here’s a link to a video of Trump making that promise:

https://archive.org/download/FOXNEWSW_20161102_162200_Outnumbered/FOXNEWSW_20161102_162200_Outnumbered.mp4?t=1680/1740&ignore=x.mp4

Man, I just don’t understand Trump supporters. They deny that Trump said things he’s on video saying. God bless ‘em. There’s got to be some sort of mental illness at work here.

 

 

Sometimes you can't help wondering why men like Trump, Netanyahoo and Imran Khan are born and allowed to grow up. Of course there have been others like them (Modi and Hitler) who have done incalculable harm to the planet. It's almost as if Mother Nature wants humans to destroy the planet so that it can take another million years to return to normal (without humans, of course). The world is in turmoil due to Trump imposing excessive tariffs on all goods imported by the US. This will increase prices of almost everything bought by Americans who are the laziest people on earth. It's impossible for the US to set up new factories to manufacture what it imports. Clothes will become expensive, gas and electricity prices will rise and food will become costly. With the mass deportation of immigrants, labour will be hard to find (most Americans can’t do any physical work). This madness will end only when Trump's party is soundly defeated in state elections soon. Already the signs of Trump's growing unpopularity are evident. His heavily supported candidate recently lost in Wisconsin to a candidate supported by Democrats. If he doesn't reverse what he's done, the people will come out on the streets and he will have to resign (as happened with Nixon). Let’s hope it happens soon.

 

AFTER successfully outlasting the holy month of Ramazan, we celebrate Eidul Fitr today with joy, thanksgiving and relief. Fasting in Ramazan is supposed to teach Muslims self-discipline, self-control and sacrifice. It also teaches us the significance of empathy for the poor, and that explains the spirit of charity during the sacred month.

One of my earliest memories is my father taking me to a shoe shop on Eid day to buy new shoes. Yes, such shops used to be open on Eid days in the 1950s. I am reluctant to say what he paid for the pair, as it would make my grandchildren think that I need urgent psychiatric treatment.

I would be delirious with happiness when receiving Eidi from an uncle (usually a rupee coin). Today’s children tend to think you are a cheapskate even if you give them a thousand-rupee note.

Sad to say, the Eid spirit of those days is no longer there. In Ramazan, our shopkeepers go on a looting spree, raising the prices of edibles and almost every item. Compare this to the huge discounts offered by shops in Western countries ahead of Christmas, and even Eid.

Those of us who were able to survive the holy month without being mugged or blown up should be grateful. There are at least 80 million Pakistanis who do not have enough to eat. Then there are those whose incomes are barely enough to help them subsist.

You cannot blame them for feeling bitter about the huge increase in salaries of our lawmakers, or for having paid through their noses during Ramazan for eatables, clothes and everything else just to enable the exploiters to pay for their annual vacations.

And let us not forget the 22-year-old Karachi woman who was crushed to death in Ramazan in a stampede to collect charity ration for the family. The household, like many others, will spend the day in mourning. Or those whose loved ones were slaughtered by terrorists during the holy month.

Oh, yes, there are those who will have much cause to celebrate, like our parliamentarians who awarded themselves an astronomical increase in salaries, the unscrupulous importers who managed to loot billions in the recent Customs scam, and the sugar mafia that exported what it called surplus sugar so that prices would rise from Rs130 to Rs180 per kg.

So, the signs pointing to more pain and agony in the coming months, let us hope and pray that we survive until the next Ramazan. Eid Mubarak to one and all!

Shakir Lakhani

March 31, 2025

https://www.dawn.com/news/1901432/introspection-is-an-integral-part-of-eid

 

Every year there is a controversy over the Eid moon sighting in Pakistan due to some witnesses suddenly appearing two hours after sunset (after the moon has been sighted in Saudi Arabia). This year the moon surprisingly caused a controversy due to its appearance when there was practically no chance of its doing so.

The Saudis had announced beforehand that Eid would be celebrated on Monday, probably because of the solar eclipse on the twenty ninth day of Ramazan. But then they found that the new moon could be visible for eight minutes after sunset. Knowing that most Muslims would be involved in stuffing themselves at the time to break their fasts, they asked foreigners particularly to scan the heavens and report if they saw the moon. So, many people saw it, not only in Saudi Arabia, but also in the UAE and Qatar. Which is why this year too, Eid will be celebrated a day earlier in the Middle East than Pakistan and India.

I knew that this could happen, because the Bohris also have their Eid today. Their Egyptian calendar always has Eid on those days as Saudi Arabia, probably because they devised it with Makkah as the focal place. Anyway, it's almost certain that the moon will be sighted in Pakistan today, and since it will be 27 hours old, it will seem to be much larger, which will probably cause illiterates to say that our Eid too should also have been today.

In this day and age, no Muslim needs the advice of the nearby mosque's imam, the internet is enough to answer any question he may have. But in Pakistan we have the Council of Islamic Ideology that is composed of men who have mindsets of people who lived in the Stone Age. I have written elsewhere that clerics like them should migrate to an island where there are no women.

The latest blow to women's rights by these bigots is astounding. They have never accepted the fact that Muslim men should take permission from their existing wives before taking other wives. After all, the only thing most Pakistani Muslim men know about Islam is that they can have four wives and they can divorce by simply pronouncing "talak" three times. The 1961 Family Law bequeathed to us by Ayub Khan stipulates that a man cannot take another wife unless his first wife agrees. But this is anathema to most moulvis. So, when the apex court ruled that a woman has the right to divorce if her husband takes another wife without her permission, these bigots (Council of Islamic Ideology) were incensed. They say that the Supreme Court's decision is against Islam and Sharia. This is just the kind of thing that gives Islam a bad name. Next thing you know, they will say that a woman who asks for a divorce should immediately be killed.