Modi’s latest salvo

Narendra Modi has long displayed his hatred for Pakistan and Muslims and has done his best to damage Pakistan in every way he can.

His latest attempt is a crude one, which normally no one would have noticed. A few days ago, he spent some time at a beach in Mamallapuram; picking up trash. He wanted the international media to compare the beaches in India with those of Pakistan and, thus, expose the sad state of our highly polluted seashore in Karachi. He wanted world leaders to think, “Since Pakistan is not able to keep its beaches clean, it should stop talking about human rights violations in Kashmir.”
So, I wondered what our very able and learned ministers would have said if they had heard about Modi’s latest salvo and how he wanted to draw attention to our polluted beaches.
I can imagine what the reactions of our ministers would be!

Special Advisor to PM, Firdous Ashiq Awan: “Our beaches are the envy of the developed world; Modi will never succeed in his latest attempt to portray Pakistan in a bad light. If he thinks our attention will be diverted from the genocide in Kashmir, or that Imran Khan will give NRO to those who looted the country, he is sadly mistaken.”
Railways Minister, Shaikh Rasheed: “I go to Karachi regularly and have always observed that the beaches there are absolutely clean and the water in the Arabian Sea is very pure, and because it contains salt it can be used for cooking. Very soon, we shall have Chinese and Saudi style of governance in the country which will enable us to arrest anyone who even spits in the sand and put him or her in jail for life or even hang them.”
Punjab Chief Minister, Usman Buzdar: “All the beaches in my province are absolutely free of pollution.”
When a reporter pointed out that there were no beaches in Punjab (as the sea is about a thousand kilometres away), he exclaimed, “So that’s why we don’t have ships sailing right up to Lahore? Now I know.”

Communications Minister, Murad Saeed: “I denounce Modi in the strongest possible terms. I challenge him to produce one Indian who was able to clear three papers in an examination in half an hour. As for beaches being polluted, since most postmen in the country have nothing to do, I have asked our Dear Leader for permission to use all postmen in the country to pick up the trash in Sea View in one day, even though it should have been done by the previous highly corrupt government which looted two hundred billion dollars that were to be used for cleaning up our beaches.”
Science Minister, Fawad Choudhry: “Modi’s latest nefarious attempt is designed to thwart Imran Khan’s mediation effort to promote peace between Iran and Saudi Arabia. He knows that once the war in Yemen is over, Pakistan will make phenomenal progress, as it will automatically result in ridding the country of dengue mosquitoes, providing ten million jobs and building five million houses for the people, as well as the discovery of huge oil reserves in the country.”

Punjab Minister, Fayyaz Chohan: “Modi knows he can’t compete with us in any field. Does he have any ministers who can influence examiners to give their sons sixteen extra marks in an exam? He should improve the education system in his country before talking about beaches in Pakistan.”
Climate Minister, Zartaj Gul: “Modi has been jealous ever since the PTI government took over the country. In the thirteen months that we have been in charge, street crimes have been virtually eliminated, the climate has improved considerably and even Karachi has received rains in October. This is due to all our ministers being hundred per cent honest and upright. None of our ministers has ever used their powers to get jobs for any of their relatives. Modi should ensure that his ministers are as good as ours before pointing out that our beaches are highly polluted.”
Minister for Water, Faisal Vawda: “The only way to make Modi shut up about our beaches is to hang five thousand corrupt people in Pakistan.”
The writer is an engineer, a former visiting lecturer at NED Engineering College