Published in the Dawn Magazine on January 4th, 1998

Your tax lawyer is horrified when you tell him that henceforth you will not cheat. You are convinced that the only way you can sleep well is to declare your true income and wealth, and pay taxes accordingly. You know very well that you will have to pay ten times more to the government than you did last year, but at least you’ll be able to sleep soundly and without taking sleeping pills.

So, when your tax lawyer says that he no longer wants to be your tax lawyer, you go to the department yourself. They welcome you with outstretched arms (you have, after all, been sharing a part of your income with them). When you tell them that now they can forget the past, you will not pay them anything under the table, they try to plead with you. You don’t budge. There are dark faces all around. Suddenly you are very unpopular. You ask to see their boss. You tell him of your new-found love for your country. He listens patiently, then rings a bell. Bring this man’s record over the past five years, he orders. He studies this file, then gives you a shock. He tells you that if you do what you want to do, he will have no option but to issue a notice asking you to explain why you should not be fined and jailed for having cheated the government over the past five years. He also tells you that once you declare your true income, you’ll have to declare more the next year, and even more the year after next, and if you don’t, you’ll be in worse trouble.

It’s obvious that you can’t beat the system. So you decide, quite wisely, to stick to things as they are. The smile on his face has to be seen to be believed. A cup of tea is offered to you. They all surround you, congratulating you on having recovered your sanity.

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