Modi’s
latest salvo
Narendra Modi has long
displayed his hatred for Pakistan and Muslims and has done his best to damage
Pakistan in every way he can.
His latest attempt is a crude one, which normally no one would
have noticed. A few days ago, he spent some time at a beach in Mamallapuram;
picking up trash. He wanted the international media to compare the beaches in
India with those of Pakistan and, thus, expose the sad state of our highly
polluted seashore in Karachi. He wanted world leaders to think, “Since Pakistan
is not able to keep its beaches clean, it should stop talking about human
rights violations in Kashmir.”
So, I wondered what our very able and learned ministers would
have said if they had heard about Modi’s latest salvo and how he wanted to draw
attention to our polluted beaches.
I can imagine what the reactions of our ministers would be!
Special Advisor to PM, Firdous Ashiq Awan: “Our beaches are the
envy of the developed world; Modi will never succeed in his latest attempt to
portray Pakistan in a bad light. If he thinks our attention will be diverted
from the genocide in Kashmir, or that Imran Khan will give NRO to those who
looted the country, he is sadly mistaken.”
Railways Minister, Shaikh Rasheed: “I go to Karachi regularly
and have always observed that the beaches there are absolutely clean and the
water in the Arabian Sea is very pure, and because it contains salt it can be
used for cooking. Very soon, we shall have Chinese and Saudi style of
governance in the country which will enable us to arrest anyone who even spits
in the sand and put him or her in jail for life or even hang them.”
Punjab Chief Minister, Usman Buzdar: “All the
beaches in my province are absolutely free of pollution.”
When a reporter pointed out that there were no beaches in Punjab
(as the sea is about a thousand kilometres away), he exclaimed, “So that’s why
we don’t have ships sailing right up to Lahore? Now I know.”
Communications Minister, Murad Saeed: “I denounce Modi in the
strongest possible terms. I challenge him to produce one Indian who was able to
clear three papers in an examination in half an hour. As for beaches being
polluted, since most postmen in the country have nothing to do, I have asked
our Dear Leader for permission to use all postmen in the country to pick up the
trash in Sea View in one day, even though it should have been done by the
previous highly corrupt government which looted two hundred billion dollars
that were to be used for cleaning up our beaches.”
Science Minister, Fawad Choudhry: “Modi’s latest nefarious
attempt is designed to thwart Imran Khan’s mediation effort to promote peace
between Iran and Saudi Arabia. He knows that once the war in Yemen is over,
Pakistan will make phenomenal progress, as it will automatically result in
ridding the country of dengue mosquitoes, providing ten million jobs and
building five million houses for the people, as well as the discovery of huge
oil reserves in the country.”
Punjab Minister, Fayyaz Chohan: “Modi knows he can’t compete
with us in any field. Does he have any ministers who can influence examiners to
give their sons sixteen extra marks in an exam? He should improve the education
system in his country before talking about beaches in Pakistan.”
Climate Minister, Zartaj Gul: “Modi has been jealous ever since
the PTI government took over the country. In the thirteen months that we have
been in charge, street crimes have been virtually eliminated, the climate has
improved considerably and even Karachi has received rains in October. This is
due to all our ministers being hundred per cent honest and upright. None of our
ministers has ever used their powers to get jobs for any of their relatives. Modi
should ensure that his ministers are as good as ours before pointing out that
our beaches are highly polluted.”
Minister for Water, Faisal Vawda: “The only way to make Modi
shut up about our beaches is to hang five thousand corrupt people in Pakistan.”
The writer is an engineer, a former visiting lecturer at NED
Engineering College
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