Good
news and bad news
There is so much good news that no one should mind if I talk
about the bad news first.
The
very bad news is that the present spell of rampant inflation is not going to
end soon. Millions have been rendered jobless, another ten million will be
added to the already sixty million hungry Pakistanis, and despite imposing
heavy taxes on the people, the government is doing nothing to curb its own expenses.
Due to steeply rising prices, corruption will increase massively. Tax
inspectors, customs appraisers and those who wield considerable power over us
will increase their charges for doing what they should be doing for their
wages.
And now some good news (for Imran Khan and the Pakistan
Tehreek-i-Insaf): they can’t be blamed for the mess. According to reliable
sources, the prime minister is not in charge of what’s happening as far as the
economy is concerned. So we can’t blame his government for prices increasing
sharply. The International Monetary Fund is the new villain. In the meantime,
we should be glad the great Khan still has some clout. Recently he jumped into
action when he heard one of his lady ministers had been instrumental in getting
her sister appointed to a sensitive post. As the Special Assistant to the Dear
Leader pointed out, it’s against the ethics and principles of the ruling party
(which is strongly against nepotism), the lady minister was told to withdraw
the letter she got written for getting her sister appointed. That’s good to
hear. The problem is, why should the lady minister not get the sack (or be
asked to resign)? Apparently, that would be taking things a bit too far.
As
for nepotism, there are many instances that need looking into. The special
assistant himself is accused of having had a nephew suddenly promoted and
appointed to a senior post in a government organisation. Apparently, no one
thinks of nepotism, ethics and principles in such cases. A brother of our
learned minister of science and technology is alleged to have been appointed an
additional IG in Punjab Police.
I suppose the minister can say, “If a minister can’t get jobs
for his relatives, what’s the use of being a minister?”
So,
we can safely assume that the Great Khan can still transfer police officers and
bureaucrats if they refuse to do what he or his ministers say. He can take any
number of cronies on more government-paid visits to foreign countries (like to
the recent OIC meeting in Saudi Arabia), despite none of them knowing or caring
what the OIC is.
There is more good news
(for stock market speculators and share price manipulators). Despite the
economy being in such a precarious state, the IMF-favoured advisor has somehow
managed to find Rs 20 billion to shore up the stock market. This will further
enrich many who will sell to government institutions very cheap shares bought
during the recent bearish spell. Of course, this is small comfort to the common
man, who has to struggle desperately to survive on the minimum wage. When the
worthy adviser said recently that the increasing fuel prices would have no
effect on the common man, he apparently meant those who eat for free at the
many charity lunches provided by Edhi and others. Also, as everyone knows, the
common man does not take a bus to get to his workplace; he simply walks for a
couple of hours to do so.
There is good news for bicycle manufacturers. With petrol prices
likely to go through the roof in the near future, even using motorcycles will
not be affordable and more and more people will be compelled to use bicycles to
commute to work. Besides reducing pollution, it will cause a lot of people to
lose weight. Of course, I would never like the learned science and technology
minister to take to walking or using bicycles. We like him the way he is and we
hope he’ll soon develop an app for people to lose weight without dieting or
exercising.
Finally, there is good
news for food adulterators. Soon, food prices will also reach unaffordable
levels. The poor will look for cheaper flour, lentils, ghee and other edibles.
Adulterators will prosper, for there is plenty of sand, sawdust and other stuff
in the country to mix with edible items to sell cheaply. Adulteration will also
contribute to a reduction in population, which is our major problem, but of
course, no one dares to even talk about it. As for water to put in liquid milk,
that’s been going on for such a long time that we’ve become used to it. No
problem there. And we won’t run out of water in a long time, as we’ll soon have
two mega dams to ensure we have plenty of it.
The writer is
a freelancer
https://dailytimes.com.pk/407952/good-news-and-bad-news/
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